just in case you're wondering

I'm here, home safe and sound, tired with pain decently managed and figuring out the limits and capabilities of this post-surgical body of mine every day. It's hard to sort out all of my thoughts and feelings about the hospital, surgery, my new body, my frustrating post-op inabilities, this amazing support network, the new intimacy of Jason changing bandages and checking blood flow in my new breast because I still can't bear to look at it, and a host of other things that come along with post-op cancer. Or, more accurately, lack thereof. Because there isn't a single bit of cancer left in me that they can find. So now we wait to find out if I will need chemotherapy, wait to have these awful drainage bulbs removed, wait to regain full movement of my arm, to start fertility preservation procedures, to feel like myself again. to have our life back. We're getting there.