surgery

Yesterday I had a surgery. The awkward, hard tissue expander that had been in place for months was removed in replaced with a much more breast-like implant.

The tissue expander was an odd, plastic pouch inserted under the muscle at my mastectomy site, slowly inflated by shots into the hard port. It crinkled and made a hollow sound with a strange rippling reverberation against my ribs when I bumped it . As it grew, it was stretched to beyond the size of my natural breast, expanding in an unnatural, somewhat cylindrical protrusion on my chest. It stuck out a bit past my rib cage so that every time I loved my arm, I brushed against it. It was difficult to dress, in its last expansion phase necessitating that I wear my prosthetic breast over top of my natural breast to compensate for the extreme size difference.

Now it is gone, and in its wake is a body that will soon feel much more normal, much less like a construction site, easier to dress, comfortable.

This is an important part of my new normal.